Why Don't Children Ask for Their Parent's Advice?

 

 

Why Don’t Children Ask for Their Parents' Advice?

How often, when you were growing up, did you ask your parents for advice? How many times in your 20’s, 30’s, 40,s or beyond did you go to one of your parents and ask for advice?

As I thought about that question, I recalled several of my cousins coming to our house when I was growing up, sitting with my dad, and asking for advice. I never stuck around long enough to see what they were asking about.

My mom, like most moms, was very good at giving advice whether you asked for it or not. I have come to realize my daughters don’t always call me for advice. Many times, it’s just to vent, and I don’t start looking for answers or giving advice unless they specifically ask. I always pray for them. As much as we want to protect and save them from heartache, we understand that sometimes experience is the best teacher.

I avoided a lot of heartache by not going down the same road as I watched others make bad choices. I did not want the sad, sorry experiences they had.

I’ll never forget asking my dad for advice when I was going to purchase my first home. I was not married yet. As I looked at homes, there was one I really liked. It was the most expensive one on my list, of course.

It was on the market longer than the others I was looking at. I called my dad and had him look at it with me. He could see my excitement. I showed him the other one I was contemplating, and it was several thousand dollars less. His advice was “get the one that is less expensive, because if you plan on moving, it will probably sell quicker because of the price point, and you won’t be waiting for the house to sell.”

Hmmm, how did my dad know that, about 2 years after we were in the house, I would be moving?

That’s exactly what happened. I did get married, and we decided to move to another state. We actually put our house up for sale by owner and got a buyer within a week. Off to Oregon, from Arizona, we went. That was some good advice I got from my dad.  As it so happened, I belonged to a bunco group, and a cousin bought the house and hosted bunco there. As I sat there playing bunco, I thought this could’ve been my house. 😉 I had no regrets. No should’ve, could’ve, wish I would’ve.

Let's look at several reasons why a young adult, or adult children, won’t ask for advice from a parent:

1.   They don’t think their parents understand their situation (and sometimes they don’t)

2.     They don’t think their parents have the experience to give good advice in the area they need advice in. (Maybe they don’t)

3.     They think they know everything. (of course they don’t, but you can’t tell them that)

4.     They don’t want a parent to disapprove of a decision they are going to make.

5.     Growing up, their parents weren’t a part of their lives. (someone else raised them, or they were abandoned by the parents)

6.     They received “bad advice in the past (it could’ve been bad advice or the situation didn’t turn out the way they wanted, so therefore they considered it “bad advice”)

7.     They don’t feel like their parents really care about how they live their lives (most parents do care)

8.     They see their parents saying one thing, but acting differently, showing no consistency in words and actions.

9.     They don’t believe their parents are able to give any good advice.

10. They are in a rebellious state and don’t care what their parents think

11.They don’t trust their parents.

 

I’m wondering if saying “they don’t trust their parents” might have summed up all the other reasons?  

Asking someone for advice shows you trust them. Whether or not you take the advice, you trusted them enough to ask their thoughts.

All this led me to think about my Father God and all the advice I am given in His Word. If I open my Bible, there is so much wisdom to gain about how to live a righteous, peaceful life. Why would I turn away from the advice of the God of all gods, the one who knew me in my mother's womb? The one who fashioned me, who gave me abilities and talents, and equips me for every good work?

I may think God doesn’t understand what I’m going through, and he hasn’t experienced what I’m dealing with. Jesus was human and did experience what we experience and so much more. He experienced compassion, joy, sorrow, anger, pain, anguish, and hunger. Everything we feel he has felt.  (This covers reasons one and two)

I’m told he experienced every temptation and knows what’s it like to be tempted. I can go to God my Father and vent all day long and still not want His ways. I’ve learned that is foolishness.

There have been times when I thought I knew everything, and if I sought God, my Father, He wouldn’t approve, so I didn’t seek His ways because my way would be good enough to get what I wanted. If I look at the advice from God's word, it may very well go against “my all-knowing ways”. My all-knowing ways proved to me how much I didn’t know I didn’t know.  (Reasons three, four and ten covered)

God has been around since the beginning of time, so I know he doesn’t abandon His people. Father God won’t abandon His Children (Reason five covered)

Father God’s advice has never been bad, but as I waited to see an outcome that I didn’t like, He was there working all things out for my good and most of all for my growth. He cares deeply about how I live my life. (Reason six and seven covered)

Father God is consistent in all His ways. He doesn’t say one thing and act in contradiction to it. He’s the steady Rock upon which I can build my life. (Reason eight is covered)

Above all, I can trust Him. I can only heed his advice if I 100% trust Him. His love for us knows no bounds. He will correct us in love and show us the way we should go. He will guide His children and continue to lead us as we continually go to Him asking for advice.  (Reason nine and ten covered)

Earthly parents are human. They make mistakes and yes, at times, lose their way. Most parents' love for their children runs so deep that they will do anything for them. They want the best for their children.

If you are a parent who knows Jesus personally, and you go to the Father to lead you, to give you advice that you are able to give your children, you are wise. Your advice comes from a heart full of the Father's love. Teach your children where to get advice from: God’s Word and God’s people. This will not lead them astray.

Some children will reject godly advice for a time, but be assured, God’s word and actions will not return void.

Remember how blessed you are when your adult children ask for your advice and even more blessed when you can pass to them the advice you receive from your Heavenly Father.

I understand, I can’t obtain a righteous, peaceful life apart from Jesus Christ.

He is my righteousness and peace.

Prayer:

Lord, may all those who read this come to you for advice, knowing you never fail and the love you have for them never fails. Keep us seeking your will and your ways in our life until we see you face to face. Thank you for the peace you give to us daily. May our hearts always find rest in you, along life's road. In Jesus Name, amen.

 

Scriptures from NIV:

If you obey my command, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed the Father’s commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. (John 15:10-11)

As He approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept….(Luke 19:41)

Jesus wept (John 11:35)

Jesus, tired as He was from the journey, sat down by the well (John 4:6)

You snake, you brood of vipers, how will you escape being condemned to hell? (Matthew 23:33)

When He saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd. (Matthew 9:36)

And being in anguish, He prayed more earnestly, and His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. (Luke 22:44)

For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written, He catches the wise in their craftiness. (1 Corinthians 3:19)

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. (1 Corinthians 1:25)

The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord; He directs it like a water course wherever he pleases. All a man's ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart. To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice. Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked are sin! The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty. (Proverbs 2:1-5)

Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or terrified because of them. Your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms. There is no one like the God of Jeshurun (the nation of Israel) who rides on the heavens to help you. (Deuteronomy 31:6, 33:27)

Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. (Psalm 90:2)

I am the Alpha and the Omega, says the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come the Almighty. (Revelation 1:8)

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. (John 1:1)

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God the creator of the ends of the earth.  (Isaiah 40:28)

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have because God has said , “ Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. “ So I can say with confidence, the Lord is my helper. (Hebrews 13:5-6a)

The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

 I will proclaim the name of the Lord. Oh praise the greatness of our God! He is the Rock, His works are perfect and all His ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is He. (Deuteronomy 32:3-4)

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:14)

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man that He should change his mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill? (Numbers 23:19)

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

Don’t be deceived my dear brothers, every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)

I the Lord do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob are not destroyed. (Malachi 3:6)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

My son do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke because the Lord disciplines those He loves as a father the son he delights in. (Proverbs 3:11-12)

And you have forgotten the word of the encouragement that addresses you as sons; My son do not make light of the Lord’s discipline and do not lose heart when He rebukes you,  because the Lord disciplines those He loves and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son. (Hebrews 12:5-6)

And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7)

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, The Lord, is the Rock eternal. (Isaiah 26:3-4)

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:22-23)

        Dad and I, He's got good advice, coming from His heavenly Father! I received it. 

Website: evapopek.com
 for more information and questions about booking Eva for a ladies luncheon or learning more about how to lead a JesusRx Prescription for Life Study group.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Just Give It To God" Have you said this?

 "Just Give It To God"

Have you ever said those words? Has anyone ever said that to you?

I called a friend who commented on one of my Instagram posts. She had commented several days before, and, being honest, I don't check Instagram daily, and I really am not very skilled with it. 

Her post said, "I needed this right now. I was thinking, why am I alive?" Praise God, it helped her know there are reasons she’s alive. Of course, she wants to be alive, just not living the way she is. She started explaining how people keep telling her, "Just give it to God." 

This woman goes to Bible study, was raised in the church, and has been around Christians most of her life. As she was telling me about her anxiety and how she was told, "Just give it to God", something hit me. I say that to people and to myself a lot. Why? Is it easy, "Just to give it to God"? If it were, this phrase would not exist.

I lived with fear for many years. I performed, I was surviving, but the overwhelming dread that would hit me about "anything". Driving down the road, I could get in an accident. My husband traveled for work, maybe he wouldn't return alive, and my children were always a heavy concern.

 I needed to volunteer at church and do good. I worked and was stressed there, but when I was home, I was stressed there. No one really knew.

I facilitated bible studies in my home. Honestly, throughout those days, the ladies were amazing. They truly didn't know the depth of my fears, though. I was the facilitator. I was "the leader". The more I prepared for the study and spent time in God's Word, the more He gave me my life back. I now know it was His Confidence in me that was needed and growing. But during that time, how was I to “JUST GIVE IT TO GOD?”

I always had a life and a pretty darn good one, according to everyone else. People thought things came easily to me. I struggled with school and technology. Technology was starting to grow. Ask my children, I was horrible at computer games, too. 

Like anything else, we need to learn how to “give it to God.” I think back on those days, and even now, when I want to hold on to problems and concerns that I really have no control over, and think, " Why is it so hard to turn things over to God? I answer that for myself, and I hope it will help you if you are anything like me.

I hate that pit in my stomach and the stress-induced urge to run to the bathroom. I hate not sleeping at night because of stress. I was telling a friend how I was never one to do “bowel cleanses”, but when you get hit with disturbing news, guess what, that bowel cleanse comes, whether you wanted it or not. Get what I’m saying? Can you relate?

I ask myself, when anxiety and fear arise, am I doubting God's word for my life? Am I doubting who He says He is? Do I lack faith? I am so thankful for the Prescription for Doubt from JesusRx, because it focuses me back on who God is and His promises according to His Word. I don’t have to doubt He knows all things and will never leave me, and as Jesus said, I am left with a comforter, the Holy Spirit. You have access to that same comforter if you have received Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

I also ask myself is my fear and anxiety due to guilt and shame? If it is, I need to confess anything I am guilty of knowing God forgives, and I no longer stand in condemnation before Him, as he will remove my sin as far as the east is from the west when I ask. Thank God I have the Prescription for Forgiveness from JesusRx. Forgiveness was settled at the cross, so it is settled in my life as I receive God’s amazing forgiveness.

The Prescription for Peace from JesusRx shows me so many promises. God will allow me to sleep better at night. His peace passes all understanding, and that is given to us. I need to believe that. He has done that for me throughout my life. He has shown His faithfulness to me, even when I was not faithful.

This next reason is quite difficult to write about, but I did discuss it with my friend. I had to because I think this is one of the biggest ways the enemy wants to keep us “good Christians” in bondage. We go to church most of our lives, and guess what? The love preached and taught (not on purpose) seemed so conditional, or maybe it was the way the enemy warped it...YOU NEED TO BE IN CHURCH EVERY TIME THESE DOORS ARE OPEN. YOU NEED TO SERVE IN THE CHURCH. WE NEED HELP WITH PROJECTS AND FINANCES. FILL OUT A COMMITMENT CARD. YOU NEED TO TITHE IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A MEMBER. SIGN THE CARD. DON’T WORK ON SUNDAYS. DON’T DRINK ALCOHOL OR WORK ANYWHERE WHERE IT IS SERVED. SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS BAD. (sex wasn’t really even talked about to us growing up in the church…other than just don’t do it if you aren’t married).

 We were always reminded of hell and damnation. This was somehow going to bring people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Well, for some, it brought fear and performance. I believe and told my friend that this is what has been causing her anxiety all these years and mental health problems. When a person has to hide anything in their life, it causes problems. When women hide beatings or abuse from a husband, it gives the enemy a foothold. When people hide alcoholism, it brings damage to their bodies. Hiding pornography brings sickness to marriages.

Hiding anything that one knows goes against God’s ways, brings death to mind, body, and soul. Living a free life called by God does not exist. Soon, a whole lot of medications will be needed to support daily activities. Praise God for His Prescriptions! Seek the Great Physician first and allow Him to guide you to any treatments or medications that may be needed.

I can’t thank God enough for the Prescription for Fear and Prescription for Love from JesusRx.

The Prescription for Love is amazing. It will show you how much you are loved and how you can live in that love. His love is unconditional. He gave His son Jesus for us, the perfect one. Once you come to understand the love God has for you, you will no longer need to live by dos and don’ts to know your standing before God.

You will want to please God in all areas of your life once you understand that His purposes for you are to grow you. He has a calling for you while you are here. He wants us to join Him in His work. That’s an amazing thought. We have nothing to fear as He calls us. The world wants us to fear because the force in us is greater than what is in this world. People can come against you for doing the will and work of God in your life, so what? You are not to fear them. You are not to allow the enemy to rob you of the joys of this life God has for you. You don’t have to fight amongst people. Flesh fighting flesh is an ugly thing. Let the power of the Holy Spirit in you take over in overcoming evil.

Think about a company you admire, and the good things they do. What if the president of that company said, “I want you to work beside me. I will teach you all things.” Would you want to be part of that? I would! God has the time to teach us and train us in His ways. We just need to pick up that Bible, start reading, and watch what happens. You will grow. You can always join in on of our JesusRx Prescription for Life sessions. Email me at evapopekjesusrx@gmail.com

There is consequences for our deliberate sin on this earth. Accept them, but know any sin can be forgiven in your life because of the shed blood of a perfect man named Jesus. The closer you are to Jesus, the less you need to worry about consequences here on earth. I have another post about the differences between living a moral life and an immoral life. Things a person doesn’t worry about when they are living a morally good life.

The more I grow in Jesus Christ, the easier it is to “Just give it to God”. When I know I can trust someone with anything, it’s easy to confide in them and share my burdens. I know I can trust God completely with my life, and so can you. This is what makes it easy to “Just give it to God.”

Total trust, trust Him totally today, and “Just Give it to God.”

JesusRx Prescription for Life Workbooks are available at lulu.com

JesusRx Prescription For Love 

JesusRx website 

JesusRx Prescription for Life Workbook 12 studies

 

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