WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE YOU?

 

Episode 11:  WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE YOU?

Have you ever asked anyone that question? Have you been asked that question?

Have you ever begged for someone’s forgiveness? Has anyone ever begged you for forgiveness?

Do you ever try to look at things from both sides? I try; sometimes, it helps, and sometimes, not so much. We are people who need forgiveness.

The only person who walked this earth and never needed forgiveness was Jesus—God in human form. He came to give forgiveness to everyone who asked. Would you agree with that? Send me an email at evapopekjesusrx@gmail or leave a note on the JesusRx blog. I really would love to hear your thoughts on forgiveness and if you know anyone else who never needs forgiveness. Also, let me know if I can mention your comment on the show.

I will be honest: the biggest problem I have in forgiving someone is when they continue to do the same thing and ask for forgiveness for that same thing they keep doing over and over again. In an earlier episode, we discussed how trust plays a part in forgiveness. For example, someone steals money from me, and I confront them. They ask to be forgiven and they say they will pay me back. They were in a bad situation, embarrassed to ask for money, so they took it. They try to explain their behavior. I am glad they asked for forgiveness so of course I forgive them. There’s a story on the podcast about my mom taking one of her nieces to court for stealing. My mom forgave her, but there were consequences for her actions. God forgives us, and yes, we may have to face consequences for our actions. May the consequences we face on this earth help us grow. May we see the hand of God in our circumstances and thank Him for His forgiveness. May we grow closer to God, allowing us to change ways that may not glorify Him.

Back to the example of a person who stole from me. Now, after about a week, I have money missing again, and a friend mentions she has money missing, too. We don't want to gossip about anyone, so we don’t, but we go lovingly to the “stealer” and ask questions. We don't understand why she would do this because we are concerned about the stealer's actions and where her life is going. She asks for forgiveness again. I say I forgave you, but not so you could turn around and do it again. Would you forgive her? Should I forgive her? Please send me an email at evapopekjesusrx@gmail and let me know your thoughts.

When I look to God’s word, I find the question asked by Peter (Matthew 18:22): How many times should I forgive someone? Jesus answered seventy times seven. I found a note in a commentary that said, “I don’t say seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Some rabbis taught their students to forgive three times, so seven times was considered generous. Of course, no one is more generous than Jesus when one comes and asks for forgiveness.

This seventy times seven number was not “literal”; it just meant my heart should be able to forgive repeatedly without keeping score.

Forgiveness should be unlimited when repentance is present. Doesn’t repentance mean turning from one's thinking from sin and turning to God?

Now, I do have a choice. I can tell the “stealer,” “No, I don’t forgive you,” or “Yes, I forgive you again.”

I often wondered if seventy times seven meant forgiving the same person but for different things, not the same thing needing forgiveness over and over again. I know I’ve needed forgiveness over and over again sometimes for the same thing. I know without those “seventy times seven” times of forgiveness when I’ve done things to go against what God desired, I would never be able to live in the freedom that forgiveness has brought me.

It's incredible how going against the ways of God trickles down into every relationship we have. If you look at the opposite of that, walking in His ways and living with a forgiving heart, the relationships you are meant to have will flourish.

Back to the “stealer” friend again. YES, I WILL FORGIVE THEM AGAIN. I will even go so far as to try to help them however I can. If she wants to make excuses for her stealing and not admit what she did was wrong and continues to make excuses for her stealing, I will use my brain and not allow her to steal from me any longer. How? OH NO, HERE’S THAT WORD….BOUNDARY.  I will need to be healthy and not let her in my house or near my purse or bank cards. Simple….right?  Problem solved. But is it? Now, I may have just lost a friend. It isn’t about the money; it’s about my friend not wanting to take responsibility for her actions and seek help. I don’t want people like that in my life. They are not helping me honor God with their behavior. Yes, I will forgive her all day long, and I will always be a call away to help anyone seeking positive change. My positive changes have come from allowing the Holy Spirit to take control. I can’t do it on my own. I believe many behaviors can only be changed with the presence of the Holy Spirit in one's life.

What if someone does not forgive you, and you earnestly ask for forgiveness? Your heart was in the right place when you asked. I write a lot of things down and write in my journal. It is a great way to pour out your heart to God when it is hurt or even when it’s full of praise.  People can draw so many lessons from you when you share your hurt and how God comes and soothes your heart. You may not even know how badly you hurt someone by what you said or posted until they tell you. Forgiveness is key. Just humble yourself and ask for forgiveness. Remember from episode 8 that forgiveness brings reconciliation.

If a person will not forgive you, guess what? You are still set free. In episode 10, we talked about freedom in forgiveness. As long as you did your part, what else are you able to do? Remember, who knows your heart? He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake. I’ll change that and say be good, for God’s sake. Christmas just passed, so I had to throw that in.

Seriously, God knows your heart. This is how I know:

 The Lord says to Samuel that the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. Read 1 Samuel 16: 1-13.

Lord, you have seen what is in my heart  (Read Psalm 139:1-24)

God knows the hearts of men (Romans 8:27-29)

You justify yourself, but God knows the heart (Luke 16:15)

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.  (Proverbs 21:2)

I, The Lord, search the heart and test the mind to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds. (Jeremiah 17:10)

So why should I forgive someone? Here is the best answer I can give….

Create in me a clean heart o God, and renew a right spirit in me. (Psalm 51:10)  I want a clean heart I want a right spirit in me. I cannot have that if my heart is set on unforgiveness.

For the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two edged sword, piercing to the divisions of soul and of spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

His Word goes in, and you will know you are free in forgiving and you have been made free by God's forgiveness. Your freedom is not dependent on another person NOT FORGIVING you when you sincerely and earnestly asked and were sorry. You are set free to seek it out, ask for it, and learn and turn from whatever it was that another person couldn’t forgive you for.

Thanks for taking our prescription for forgiveness. We would love to hear your thoughts on forgiveness and how it has affected your life. Until next time, stay healthy and stay in His Word. Our prescription for peace is a great way to enter 2025, so join us for the next episode and allow the prescription for peace to bring you health.

 

Freedom in Forgiveness. It's TRUE: Freedom can be found in forgiveness.

 

Episode 10 Freedom in Forgiveness. It’s TRUE: Freedom can be found in forgiveness.

Do you have unforgiveness toward anyone right now? If you said yes, you are being held captive by that unforgiveness. 

If you know Jesus and His forgiveness, you will not be able to walk freely if you can’t forgive.

The freedom found in God's forgiveness is quite profound, allowing one to forgive some things this world says are unforgivable. I like to be honest. There are things in my human mind and heart I don’t think are forgivable. As I look to God’s word, it tells me otherwise.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not covet up my iniquity. I said I will confess my transgressions to the Lord- and You forgive the guilt of my sin. Psalm 32:5

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits- who FORGIVES all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit. Read Psalm 103

When God forgives us, we are set free from the pit. Let me give you a picture of what is in that pit, in case you don’t know. Despair, guilt, shame, hopelessness, selfishness, moral decay, fear, anger, forgiveness, hate, bitterness. That is what was in my pit. What is or prayerfully was in your pit? PRAISE GOD, He’s made a way out of that pit! We have freedom from those things because of God’s forgiveness.

I’M FREE TO LOVE WHEN I’VE FORGIVEN OTHERS. I mentioned “The Pit.” Sometimes, you will come up against others who may try to put you in a pit.

I want to tell you of a time when I was working in real estate. I was so upset about a situation that I knew if I could not forgive, it would cost me more than the dollar amount that was taken from me. You can hear about this on the podcast. The most upsetting thing was that these were “brothers and sisters” in Christ.

Here’s another story much more powerful than mine, and it involves family members:

¹² Now his brothers had gone to graze their father’s flocks near Shechem, ¹³ and Israel said to Joseph, “As you know, your brothers are grazing the flocks near Shechem. Come, I am going to send you to them.”

“Very well,” he replied.

¹⁴ So he said to him, “Go and see if all is well with your brothers and with the flocks, and bring word back to me.” Then he sent him off from the Valley of Hebron.

When Joseph arrived at Shechem, ¹⁵ a man found him wandering around in the fields and asked him, “What are you looking for?”

¹⁶ He replied, “I’m looking for my brothers. Can you tell me where they are grazing their flocks?”

¹⁷ “They have moved on from here,” the man answered. “I heard them say, ‘Let’s go to Dothan.’”

So Joseph went after his brothers and found them near Dothan. ¹⁸ But they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him.

¹⁹ “Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. ²⁰ “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.”

²¹ When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. “Let’s not take his life,” he said. ²² “Don’t shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the wilderness, but don’t lay a hand on him.” Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father.

 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the ornate robe he was wearing— ²⁴ and they took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no water in it.

²⁵ As they sat down to eat their meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were loaded with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were on their way to take them down to Egypt.

²⁶ Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? ²⁷ Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.” His brothers agreed.

²⁸ So when the Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for twenty shekels^[a] of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt.

²⁹ When Reuben returned to the cistern and saw that Joseph was not there, he tore his clothes. ³⁰ He went back to his brothers and said, “The boy isn’t there! Where can I turn now?”

³¹ Then they got Joseph’s robe, slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood. ³² They took the ornate robe back to their father and said, “We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son’s robe.”

³³ He recognized it and said, “It is my son’s robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces.”

³⁴ Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days. ³⁵ All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said, “I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave.” So his father wept for him.

³⁶ Meanwhile, the Midianites^[b] sold Joseph in Egypt to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh’s officials, the captain of the guard. (Genesis 37:12-36 NIV)

This pit was meant to destroy Joseph's life. If you stop to think about Joseph’s brothers, they were living in a pit of their own—a pit of jealousy, deceit, sorrow, and hate.

Now Joseph is sold, spared from one pit, and seemingly sold into another. You can read “THE REST OF THE STORY” in Genesis chapters 41-46. It’s pretty good.

You will read about his rise to power and seeing his family again. His brothers had no idea who he was…oh, you need to read it….until he revealed himself to them. He did not punish them for what they did. He was in a position to help them. Please read the story to learn about his position; again, it is SO GOOD!! He forgave those who tried to put him in a pit. You may be dealing with a “pit situation,” whether it is by your hand or at someone else hands…KNOW THIS….YOU CAN BE SET FREE.

You can find freedom when you seek God’s forgiveness, and the Holy Spirit will make it possible for you to forgive those who put you in a pit.

Joseph's awful situation turned around, and good things came from it. He was given a gift (read the story to find this out), and his gift was what made his brothers mad. He acknowledged his gift was from God and gave God the glory. There were many trials for Joseph, just as there are for God’s people today. In God’s timing, Joseph was elevated to a position to help others, and he did just that! As Joseph stayed faithful to God, some pretty amazing things happened. PLEASE READ GENESIS CHAPTER 41-50. Again, I’ll say IT IS SO GOOD!

In the end, Joseph is reunited with Jacob, his father. Jacob died, and Joseph's brothers thought Joseph would then try to get even, but listen to this

¹⁵ When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” ¹⁶ So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: ¹⁷ ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept.

¹⁸ His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said.

¹⁹ But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? ²⁰ You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. ²¹ So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them. (Genesis 50:15-21)

When you are tempted not to forgive someone, remember “the Pit” and if you want to remain there.

The prescription for forgiveness will allow you freedom. Freedom to live unrestrained from guilt, hate, and bitterness. Do not let these things trap you. Forgive others as Christ has forgiven you.

To find out where to purchase the JesusRx for Life Workbook, go to my website, evapopek.com

You will find the Prescription for forgiveness in Chapter 2. You can skip to any chapter for any other prescription you may need.

Thanks for listening, and may our hearts always be ready to forgive and freedom be ours!